ISBN: 9798218711191
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“Yes, I’m Rich in Life!” by Joseph SirianniAs I reflect on my father, I’m reminded just how fortunate and blessed I am to still have him in my life. At 93 years old, Dad is in fairly good health. He’s a bit hunched over now and shuffles his feet more than he used to, but his spirit remains strong.
My father, Pete Sirianni, was born and raised in Niagara Falls, NY. Except for a year in college and a short time in the U.S. Army, he has lived his entire life in Western New York State. He spent his work career in the construction industry as an operating engineer - he operated a backhoe. It wasn’t a glamorous job, nor did it bring in a lot of money, but that never mattered to me. He was a man of great integrity and pride, and he made sure we always had food on the table and clothes on our backs.
Pete was—and still is—a true gentleman. In his prime, standing 6’3” and weighing 240 pounds, he could be an intimidating presence. But in reality, he was just the opposite: he greeted everyone with a smile and a warm “Hello.”
Dad was also a playful and involved father. Even after long, cold days at work, he’d take the time to play with us. I remember evenings of floor hockey in the living room and countless ping-pong matches in the basement. On Saturday mornings, after watching Big Time Wrestling, my brother and I would launch ourselves off the couch to “pin” him and claim the victory. He always played along. Our house was filled with love, laughter, and the comforting feeling of being cared for.
My father taught us many lessons, but the one that stands out most is respect. Showing the utmost consideration and kindness to others was always expected. I remember going to a company picnic with him when I was about five years old. He introduced us to a coworker—an African-American man named Pete Huckabuck. I still remember Mr. Huckabuck clearly: missing front teeth, worn and tattered clothes. When Mr. Huckabuck told us to call him “Pete,” Dad gently but firmly stepped in. “No,” he said. “His name is Mr. Huckabuck, and that’s what you will call him.” This same standard applied to all adults. Titles mattered, but showing people dignity mattered even more.
My father never hit us—he didn’t need to. His presence alone was enough to keep us in line. Except for one time, when I let the “F” word slip in front of my mother. Dad came at me, lifted me off my feet, and told me to apologize immediately. Mom was shocked, and shouted, “Peter, put him down, you're going to hurt him!” I still don’t say “hell” in front of her to this day.
Throughout her life my mother, Joan, has been a strong, independent woman who relies deeply on her faith to guide her through life’s many challenges. The youngest offive siblings, she experienced great loss early on - her father passed away when she was just seven years old and her mother died when she was only twenty-two. After spending a brief period of time in Florida, she returned to Niagara Falls and married Dad. Together, they recently celebrated their 66th wedding anniversary.
Incredibly supportive of everything we did, my father always put his family first—especially when it came to his kids. I was lucky enough to play 12 years of organized football: four years in Little League, four years in high school, and four years in college. Dad never pushed me into playing any sport; it was his love for the Buffalo Bills and our Sundays spent watching Bills games together that made me fall in love with the game of football. I also enjoyed playing baseball and basketball, and had some success with those sports as well.
However, I tried wrestling when I was 8 years old, and that was a different story. I told Dad that I wanted to wrestle. Of course Pete, always being very supportive, found a youth wrestling program for me to get involved in. I remember entering a local tournament and thinking I was a “tough guy”. Well, I won my first match by decision, but as I moved on to the second, I was pinned in 30 seconds - and that was the end of my wrestling career.
In his youth, my father played basketball for Niagara Falls High School and would have loved for me to follow in his footsteps and stick with playing basketball. However, after my sophomore year in high school, I was done with the game and wanted to just concentrate on football. Regardless of the sport I played, he never missed a game, even if it meant losing a day’s pay. I remember scanning the crowd during my Ithaca College games, looking for him in the stands. The moment I saw him, everything felt right. I was ready to go.
Dad has always carried himself with pride. He enjoyed dressing up and, truthfully, was a bit of a harmless flirt. But through it all, Mom has always been the center of his world. I’ll never forget the story he tells about one day after church, when two older women approached him while he was ushering. He wore a sports coat every Sunday, and one of the women asked if he was rich. Dad smiled and said, “Yes, I am.” They looked at each other and one said, “See, I told you he has a lot of money.” He replied, “Oh no, I don’t have a lot of money. You asked if I was rich—and I am. I have a beautiful wife, three wonderful children, and four beautiful grandchildren. So yes, I’m rich in life.”
There are so many more stories I could share about my father, but I hope this gives you a glimpse into the kind of man he is - and how lucky I am to still have him around. I don’t see my parents as often as I’d like, but I never take for granted how fortunate I am to still have them here, and to have been raised by a man like him.
Biographies:
Peter Anthony Sirianni: born on October 19, 1932, in Niagara Falls, NY. Now 93 years old, he lives in Lewiston, NY, with his wife Joan (94). Peter graduated from Niagara Falls High School and spent one year at Ithaca College before entering the U.S. Army, where he proudly served a year in Korea. Following his military service, he joined his brothers at Sirianni Construction Company and went on to work in the construction industry as a heavy equipment operator for over 40 years.
Even in his 90’s, Peter remains remarkably active. He volunteers regularly at his community hospital, helps run weekly bingo in the local Italian Club, and serves as an usher at his church. He and Joan are the proud parents of three children, grandparents of four, and great-grandparents of two. To this day, Peter is best known for his warm smile and his trademark cheerful greeting - a big hello that brightens anyone’s day.
Joseph Peter Sirianni: born on September 22, 1962, in Niagara Falls, NY. When I was four years old, my family moved to Lewiston, NY where I attended Lewiston-Porter Central School District from Kindergarten through 12th Grade. Growing up, I was fortunate to play many organized sports, including youth wrestling, Little League baseball, 9th and 10th Grade basketball, and twelve years of competitive football. I went on to attend Ithaca College, where I was lucky enough to play four years of college football while majoring in Physical Education. Although I never pursued teaching as a profession, I enjoyed a successful career in sales and eventually owned my own sales business for over 30 years. I am currently retired and enjoying the fruits of my labor.
While at Ithaca I met the love of my life - my caring and supportive wife, Beth. This past September, we celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary. Together, we are the proud parents of three wonderful daughters - Julia (32), a successful third grade elementary teacher; Briana (30), who recently celebrated her fourth wedding anniversary with her husband, Garrett; and our youngest, Nicala (27), who lives in Southern Pines, NC, and works as an occupational therapist. We are also blessed with two active and adorable grandsons, Brodie (3) and Judah (1).
To say my life is blessed is an understatement. I thank God every day for the incredible family, friendships, and memories I've been fortunate enough to experience over the years.
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“Be A Man” by Sam Costanzo
Reading several of the stories in “Fathers and Sons” I was struck by the many ways, most of them very positive, that fathers were involved in their son’s lives, especially as they got older and started playing sports and heading off to high school and college. When you’re in your early years, your relationship with your dad really isn’t something you think much about. When I look back on those early years my memories are mostly from the time after the family moved to South Florida from East Pittsburgh the summer before I started third grade at North Hialeah Elementary School. My early memories of my father were mostly that he was always very hard-working and also a good person who loved his family. He just didn’t show it that often. His focus was on work, paying the bills, and making sure that my two sisters and I behaved by helping around the house and doing well in school.Besides those routine moments in the early years with my father, there were many good memories of family dinners and get-togethers to celebrate holidays with our many relatives. He was always there for those events with family and really enjoyed them.
There were a few great early memories of my relationship with my dad that will always be special to me. One unforgettable moment was when my dad got me my first dog. He knew that my sisters and I really wanted one. So, one afternoon when I was about 13 and on my bicycle delivering newspapers for The Miami News, I saw my dad drive up near me, pull over and signal me to come to the car. When I did he pointed to the passenger seat where my first puppy was all curled up in a cute little ball. I was so happy! I couldn’t wait to finish my route and get home to play with the dog with my sisters and thank my dad! We named him Pookie and I have no idea how we came up with that funny name. Pookie was the first of several dogs my dad got for me, including my first German Shepherd (Firpo, named after the famous boxer Luis Firpo). I became fascinated with that breed and training them and have had three more in my adult life.
My dad surprising me with Pookie is surely a favorite memory, but there were a few other good memories as well. My dad got me my first real job at Winn-Dixie bagging groceries and working in the produce department. He also knew that I loved horses and arranged for me to visit his friend’s small ranch and ride one! And towards the end of high school he knew I wanted to have a car, so one day he told me to take a ride with him to a Chevrolet dealer where he pointed to my first car, a used Corvair for which he paid a hard-earned $300. It needed lots of repairs, but still was great to have as I headed off to college.
As I got a little older, my interests were shaped mostly by my friends and our love of baseball and bowling. At Catholic school I enjoyed the religious and academic studies, but when I wanted to talk to my father about the new things I was learning he would brush off my questions. He only asked if I was getting good grades and staying out of trouble. I never really understood why he didn’t want to discuss what I was learning. Whenever I would ask him about my school studies and what would be good areas to focus on for my future, his response was always, “Just get a job.”
With sports it was much the same. I was in a bowling league and also made it on to the high school baseball team, but my dad was never there watching any of my events. It seemed to me that he was always working, and when we did have time together we seldom talked or did things together except working in the yard. It was only much later on that I developed a better understanding of why he never was that interested in my academic interests or involved in my sports activities.
As I got older my curiosity grew and I started doing research into our family background in the Pittsburgh area. It explained a lot about my dad. In the 1918 influenza epidemic my paternal grandfather, Santo/Samuel, died in October, 1918 at the age of 23. That was one month before my father, his third child, was born! My grandmother, Annie, was suddenly a young single parent with three children, all under the age of 3. She later remarried (I don’t know when) and I learned from aunts and other family members that my father had a very bad relationship with his stepfather, who abused him and his brother, my Uncle Andy. All I knew was that my dad hated his stepfather and would never even mention his name, let alone say anything positive about him.
My dad quit school after eighth grade when he was 13 or 14 and I’m not sure whether his stepfather was a factor in that decision. It was also the early years of the Depression and that may also have been the reason why he quit school and got a job, but he never went back to finish high school or pursue any other professional or academic training. He just worked at whatever jobs he could find.
His very difficult home environment and the stress of having to work at many different jobs explains a lot to me about why my father didn’t have much interest or curiosity about my academic and sports interests. I can’t imagine growing up in such an unsettled family and time. Starting work full time after eighth grade, hating your stepfather so much, and not being close at all with your three step-siblings; it’s very hard to understand what his life was like. My dad had two step-sisters and one step-brother, and I don’t know anything about them, nor have I ever met any of them. My dad would only ever talk about his biological brother (my Uncle Andy) and sister (my Aunt Mary). Fortunately, I did get to know and spend time with both of them and their families in Pittsburgh.
I only met my grandmother once, when I was 16, after she moved to Erie, Pennsylvania with her new husband and family and I was visiting my Pittsburgh relatives. Uncle Andy drove me and my cousin (also Andy) up to her house in Erie. When she first saw me walking up the walkway, she gasped and was struck by my resemblance to my grandfather, her first husband Santo. At 16 I had no idea about her early life and what she’d been through. I only wish I’d had the opportunity to spend more time with her and get to know her better.
I don’t know any details about my dad’s work life in Pittsburgh other than that he continued the pattern of many different jobs when we moved to Florida, including construction and landscaping. He then purchased a bar, Sam’s Lounge, in Hialeah, when I was in high school. This was very much a local bar, with mostly working class customers – a “‘shot and a beer at 9am” kind of crowd, as my dad occasionally joked to the family. It was open seven days a week from early in the day to late at night, and his long hours there were a big part of the reason I didn’t see much of my father when I was in high school or college.
I left home to attend the University of Florida in 1965. I made all my own decisions about what I wanted to study, largely based on my high school academic interests. My parents were not involved in any of these decisions, nor were they able to be involved in the finances. Fortunately, going to a state school was relatively affordable back then and I was able to manage all the expenses with the help of federal student loans and summer jobs. I didn’t discuss anything about my studies with my parents but, as always, my dad was only interested in me getting good grades (which I did).
After earning a B.A., I worked hanging drywall and was a substitute teacher for a couple of years before attending graduate school in International Studies at Ohio University in 1972. I met my wife, Linda, there and after our marriage we moved to Naples, Florida in 1975 where I began teaching history and geography at Lely High School. Unfortunately, my father passed away in 1979 at the age of 61 when I was 32 and in my fourth year of teaching. He died in April, and for the rest of the school year I would drive to Miami on Fridays after school, run his bar until Sunday night, and then drive back for the school day on Monday. I stopped teaching at the end of the school year, and Linda and I moved back to Miami so that I could look after my mom and run the bar full time until we sold it and I started looking for a new career. That is when I got lucky by seeing an ad in the newspaper for a textbook sales representative position and began what became a career of 36 years in academic publishing.
Since my father died at a relatively young age and I was just getting going in my adult life, I’ve always wished that I’d had more time to try to build a deeper relationship and also learn more about his early life. Fortunately, I have been able to understand a great deal with the research I’ve done in the last many years.
My relationship with my father was definitely and unfortunately mixed, as I am sure it was for many others. I have no real complaints, but I wish I could have known more about him and what he’d gone through. Academics was always a sore point: there wasn’t any subject I wasn't interested in learning more about and my father, who never understood why I went to both college and graduate school, joked with my younger sister that her brother was always “trying to find himself”. He simply wanted me to ”get a job”, and he also felt strongly that I needed to be tough and work hard to support a family.
My dad often underscored his views with a consistent piece of advice. Whenever I was confronted with a difficult situation and asked what I should do, he would simply say, “Three words: be a man.” After I learned more about my father’s life, I had a better understanding of what that meant to him. He strove to “Be A Man” despite all the obstacles in his difficult life. Through his own example, he definitely exemplified what I now realize is a great legacy, and I cherish the invaluable lesson he gave me.
Biographies:
Samuel F. Costanzo: born on November 25, 1918 in East Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Completed eighth grade and lived and worked in the East Pittsburgh area until the family moved to Hialeah, Florida in the summer of 1955. Served in the US Army during WWII and was given a medical discharge in 1942. Married Josephine L. Pugliese later that year. Bebcame parents of Andrea (1945), Samuel (1947) and Joann (1955). After moving to Florida, worked in construction and then owned and managed a bar in Hialeah until his death. Died on April 17, 1979 in Hialeah, FL.
Josephine Louise Costanzo: Born on April 3, 1920 in East Pittsburgh, she was one of four sisters and one brother whose family owned and operated Pugliese's Market in Turtle Creek, PA. Josephine worked at the family store part time and graduated from high school. After her marriage to Samuel in 1942, she became the homemaker and the mother of three children. After the family moved to Florida, she worked part time as an office assistant. When Samuel died in 1979, she moved to Naples, Florida. She lived and worked there until her passing on January 31, 2015. Josephine was the loving mother of three children, five grandchildren and seven great grandchildren. A great cook, she loved to make her family’s favorite meals.
Samuel J. Costanzo: born on July 30, 1947 in East Pittsburgh. Graduated from Hialeah High School in 1965 and completed a Bachelor’s degree in Political Science and Philosophy at the University of Florida in 1969. Completed a Master’s degree in International Studies at Ohio University in 1973, where he also met his future wife, Linda Bennett, the mother of their two children, Nick and Katie.
Taught high school social studies at Lely High School in Naples, FL from the fall of 1975 until the spring of 1979. Became a college sales representative for Harcourt Brace in 1979 and then with McGraw-Hill in 1983. Held multiple positions with McGraw-Hill in their New York City headquarters from 1985 until 2006, including 18 years with various responsibilities for international markets. Retired in 2015 after an additional nine years at Taylor & Francis, a British publisher, as head of their New York office.